I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
high people should be assigned attendants
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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