I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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