Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
