Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
