Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
