You can't motorboat a personality
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
