New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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