I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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