i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
