It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
