Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
