She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
