well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
