dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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