why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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