yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
