even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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