i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
