It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm always down for nudity.
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