i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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