Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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