i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
