Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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