Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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