I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You brought string cheese to the strip club
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
