Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
