I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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