can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize