Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize