both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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