A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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