There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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