You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
