no, he came in my armpit
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
