They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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