If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
