he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
