a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
