ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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