dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize