Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
