Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
