small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
