Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
