apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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