What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
