"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
