o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the day after is always just damage control
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
