maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
