Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
