Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
