More tranny stories later!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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