He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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