Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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