Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
