why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
