I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
do nipples grow back?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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