i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
