she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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