Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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