try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
