We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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