Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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