we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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