Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
