Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
