Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
