That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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