i barfeds in our rink
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
