i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
