whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Randomize